Perspective

Most of life is about perspective. The more we have of it the easier it is to understand a situation, react to a problem etc. And just to give you perspective I am writing about a situation where the mom (Vivian) is home during the day and the dad (me) is at work. That is not to say it is the only possibility but it is the one I have the most perspective on. Sorry for the long intro!

In the case of parenting perspective is king. Knowing the job of a mom helps the dad understand how to interact with her when he arrives home and knowing the stress of the workplace helps the mom react to the dad when he arrives home, etc. All that being said, I am going to state my thesis as the following..."A mom with more than 1 kid has a much harder job than any work situation I will ever encounter".

My story.

Yesterday was stay at home and have fun day since it was MLK day and not a work day. We had a baby sitter lined up for a few hours and all was going to be great. But then the stomach flu with in all of its wonder hit Vivian around 11pm the night before. Thus ended the potentially fun day. But I was super thankful that I had a day off to watch both kids and let Vivian suffer in peace. I love our kids and they are both wonderful, cute, etc but when Eliana is teething and Patrick doesn't want to take a nap, the day gets longer and longer. I am not complaining here because by all accounts we are very blessed. My point is that there is nothing that I have ever encountered in 20+ years of working that compares with the energy that it takes to deal with 2 kids on the "not so good days". It is not one specific part of the day that throws the day off but a series of little things adding up to never getting time to sit down for 10 minutes and do nothing. But here is the thing...for mom's this is the rule, it is common place. I think that if Dad's could take a day off and deal with the kids at the neediest for 1 complete day (i.e. midnight to midnight with no one sleeping through the night) their perspective on what their wife has to deal with would change. No matter what kind of high power, high paying, stressful job you might have, I have never seen a spreadsheet scream at me or have a complex problem whine at me. They just sit there until they are solved, nice and politely. Fellow employees can be an issue but at the end of the day they don't go home with you. I am not saying that this knowledge will create total marital bliss but I will take anything the work world can throw about me over 2 emotional, teething, not sleeping, needy kids. The former just doesn't compare in terms of energy expended.

Let's all be thankful for the moms!

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Our Complete Family

It is not as if our family wasn't complete before Eliana arrived but in one sense it wasn't quite finished. I can tell you that two is a wonderful, great and final number. The video at the bottom of this blog article is complete with the sights and sounds of our family at the end of 2011. Unlike other videos that I have made which are a collage of pictures this one only has 1 picture and the rest are videos showing the kids in action. When you watch the video, set it to full screen and turn the volume to high. Not only will you hear the sounds of Eliana and Patrick but the music in the background is a very beautiful piece of choral music.

La rose complete
( Rainer Maria Rilke, from Les Roses)
J'ai une telle conscience de ton etre,
rose complete,
que mon consentement te confond
avec mon coeur en fete.
Je te resprire comme si tu etais, rose,
toute la vie,
et je me sense l'ami parfait
d'une telle amie.

The Perfect Rose

I have such awareness of your being,
perfect rose,
that my will unites you
with my heart in celebration.

I breathe you in, rose, as if you were
all of life,
and I feel the perfect friend
of a perfect friend.

The connection with this piece of music is that our family is now very much complete with our little rose, Eliana. And with the understanding of Ephesians 1:5.6 " even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." it becomes even more complete.

I can't begin to express the love that I have for this family but I do know this, it is nothing on the scale of the love that God has for us. Eliana is now 16lb 5 oz and growing like crazy. If I didn't know she was born premature I would have no way of knowing. She is a very happy, opinionated, joyful and strong little girl. Patrick continues to be a joyful, high verbal, 3 yr old with a love for trains, paints, cars, balls, Little Bear, Jonah, Busy town mysteries and of course, Curious George. His favorite place is usually the park and is great at allowing me to take him on runs in the stroller even if it means getting to the park 30 minutes later.

We didn't send out a Christmas letter this year and probably won't get around to it until next year but after you see the video you will know why! So don't write us off your list just yet...we will be back eventually as we learn more about navigating the waters of raising Patrick and Eliana.

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